Dore Talk

Hello, I'm new to the forum. My son has been doing the exercises for 3 months now and his concentration is worse than ever. He is a very bright boy who has always suffered with lack of concnetration. He is in year 8, at the end of last year in spite of his problem he was put in the top set for most of the subjects apart from Maths. This year all he does is to switch off in class. He forgets to copy the teacher's notes in the board and seldom brings homework. If you look at his books we are lucky if he remembers to write the date and title of the lesson, the rest will be a blanck page. When he does homework he forgets to hand it over, he still has completed sheets of homework from 4 weeks ago. Sometimes he will get a detention for not doing work that is completed and inside his bag! We have talked to the teachers and they are aware of him but in a 1400 children state school there is not much more they can do. They expect him to be resposible. I have spoken to Dore and they keep saying that is a good sign but I'm still very worried about the current situation. I will be very grateful if other parents can resure me that they went through the same and there is light at the end of the tunnel because at the moment I feel that we are going nowhere. Many thanks for all your help. Patri

Hi Patri, we are not at this stage of the programme so I can't help re that part of your message. With regards to homework I know some schools have a home/school book or folder so you can write comments or ensure homework is in there before he leaves and then a member of staff checks ot each day to ensure homework handed in on time etc. Surley 1 minute of a member of staffs time checking the folder (it doesn't need to be a teacher), would benifit all in the long run. Ask the SENCO and keep up the presssure 'cos if you don't they obviously are not going to try any new ideas.

Good luck, Gill

Patri - this sounds very much like a restructuring phase to me - we had ours at 6 weeks and are currently going through it again with the mental tasks.  Miss Ellie on here always explains it well. Check out her posts - I'm sure she's explained it somewhere here, but she will probably answer this post anyway.  Stick with it - I assure you it is worth it in the end, and yes it is a good sign, believe it or not!  

Hi Patri, yes it certainly sounds like that "restructuring phase", when things go backwards before moving in the right direction. Something to do with the way the neural pathways are changing course so to speak, and the old and the new fighting each other. They have probably told you it's early days, I have been told that concentration will be one of the last things to improve, when the mental tasks are started.

I know the lack of help from school is hard to stomach, they really are no help to the very people who most need it. I have been told by our primary that he will have to be more responsible as they won't look after him "this well" at secondary (and this was said after he was let onto the bus for the umpteeth time, when he should have been in rugby club).

This means that things are moving in the right direction, so just keep on doing what your doing.

I get wobbly days, but then think back on all our improvements over the past year, and try to keep the faith.

keep letting us know how things are.

Thank you for your support. I have been reading some of the blogs of people experiences and I see that the process takes longer than I thought. I also recall that a few weeks into the programme he became very helpful around the house and more friendly to his sister, at the time I saw as an improvement. At the moment he is so spaced out tha all that seems an eternity ago. I think keeping some sort of diary will help us. Patri

Patri - My blog started out as exactly that - a diary - you can keep it private if you like or open it up to certain people - or everyone - the choice is yours. I am so glad I started mine as it reminds me how Harry was, particularly on those bad days when life can be hellish! 

Thank you for your message.. How do start a blog? P

Go to this link and create an account. Its quite easy.

 http://www.blogger.com/home 

Hi Patri you have come to the right place for help and guidance it isn't easy understanding what is going on but as the others were saying your sons problems at the moment are all part of the progression phase where you worry that they are going backwards where in fact they are going forwards. I have transferred my laymans version of what is going on and hopefully you can relate to it. Als his being spaced out is part of "the fog" many of our children have. I will try not to confuse you but click on the link below and hopefully it will give you an idea of how our children think and feel until they finish Dore.

Hi Patri, welcome to the forum. My daughter Laura has been on the programme for 5 months now. We have seen a lot of changes in her but she has had a few "foggy" days. Luckily for Laura, (and us)  so far it has only lasted for a day at a time and we usually know when it's going to happen because she suddenly finds her exercises very difficult just before. The day after a foggy day she usually has a brilliant day at school and her exercises become easier again. All our children improve at different rates so don't give up. It's quite normal for them to get worse before they get better. Just take it one day at a time.There is light at the end of the tunnel.Good luck!

heya Patri!  Does your son struggle to copy off the board? My son did and we found that if the teacher used a blue pen it was much easier for him. also we had it on his IEP that he had to have the work on a sheet in front of him NOT copy off the board. If they use a smartboard, ask if they can change the background to yellow.   Does your son have a statement or IEP? I would request a meeting with the schools SENCO as it is obvious his needs are not being met.  It shouldnt make a difference if its a 1400 pupil state school or not...Under the every child matters policy  'every child is entitiled to an appropriate education' . Therfore EVERY teacher that takes your son should be aware of his difficulties,and act accordingly...if they do not they are not doing their job properly. Dont take this lying down with their pitiful excuses, kick their a*$e until your son gets the help he needs!!!! xxx

Thank you again for everyone's support and information. Eraina, my son hasn't got a statement but I don't know what an IEP is. Coukld you explain please? I will get in touch with the school's SENCO. Patri

Patri - an IEP is an Individual Education Plan which sets out your child's support within the school. Mine lists:

1. Targets

2.Achievement Criteria

3. Possible Resources/Techniques

4. Possible Strategies for use in class

5. Ideas for support teacher

This is completed by the School, and you should sign it confirming your agreement.

Feel free to comment/change anything you disagree with.

At the end of the school year, the teacher should meet with you to discuss what was achieved and what needs to be worked on the following year. 

Patri - I have sent you a PM

Thank you for your PM. How do you reply to one? P

hiya Patri, as you can see someone has explained the IEP to you (sorry,I should have explained it better! as usual starting a convo half way thru when I had the other half with myself in my head!!!) I would tell your SENCO of your concerns (does your son have a diagnosis..dyspraxia, ADHD etc?) and start from there if you dont get any joy from the SENCO come back to us and we can help you from there. GOOD LUCK xxxx

Click reply from your InBox or you can click on my username and there is an option there to send a PM. Also you can click on CONTACT on the right-hand side here and there is a list of options.